ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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