I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
