You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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