Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
