walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
