i need an iv and a liver transplant
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
