i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What happened to fro yo and sex?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize