somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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