Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
