yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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