that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
