There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize