my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize