i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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