you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
