we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
