all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
