The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
