just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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