Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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