Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
