I think my fart just growled at me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
