your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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