It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
