areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
