Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
