They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
