I want to stick my p in your. b.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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