just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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