When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
