I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need to calm my uterus...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
