Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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