I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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