so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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