normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We got so high we made milksteak
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
