do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
