you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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