i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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