Life is so much better after having sex.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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