Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
