If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
