my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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