Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
