We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
