You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize