Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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