Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
