Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
