So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
