I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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