i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
