He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
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Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*