I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Operation Purity has been aborted
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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