So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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