Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
