remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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