Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize