He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
