I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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