Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
