'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
