addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
someone owes me an orgasm
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
