Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize