The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
