So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
