they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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