my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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